lalalive23 | The Long Surrender: 22/??

Title: The Long Surrender
Author:

lalalive23
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Fluff and language
Summary: AU. Matt moved to Spain immediately after his lover left him to continue his work on the Spanish guitar. When Dom takes a holiday with his new fiancee, his world gets turned upside down and nothing is ever the same again.
Feedback: Not gonna lie, I'm a feedback whore. I get the shakes without it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse. If I did, they sure as hell would not be let out of the naughty closet. I don't make money off this. If I did, I would be a rich lady and not distracting myself from writing an undergrad thesis that is somehow much bigger than I.
Note: Holy shit guys, it's been since fucking March since I've updated. Feel free to send some forms of punishment, because oh god, I feel so ashamed. Anyway, I don't have much to say about this chapter other than that it gave me troubles. I really can't be away from it for months at a time cause getting back into the language took some work. If it seems off, I'm sorry =/ I SHALL MAKE YOU CUPCAKES TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAIN! Anyway, ETERNAL, ENDLESS BALLS OF CHRIS CORNER AND SEX AND SMUT to

sheerpoetry ,

captivemuse ,

sunshine_173 and

millionstar for being cheerleaders, betas, faff girls and smut queens. I love those ladies like they are part of my spirit.

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14A Chapter 14B Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21

The days after Matthew had so intimately touched Dominic found the couple exploring each other's bodies with cautioned curiosity. In the quiet of the bedroom, Matthew would run his fingers slowly up the contours of Dominic's stomach, while the blonde would reciprocate with the pads of his fingertips along the indentation of Matthew's spine. Dominic had meant his words when he said that he felt as though Matthew touched him to learn him, the concentration he would gift the blonde as he stroked his body made Dominic feel as though he were Matthew's favoruite puzzle; handled with care and concern so that every touch he executed sent the blonde into the deepest throes of pleasure.

Though there was no reprieve of such overt sexual activity since the evening in Matthew's bedroom, Dominic fund himself becoming highly aroused by the feel of Matthew's strong fingers along his body. The slowness with which he executed his touches drove the blonde mad, his trousers never failing to tighten to extreme proportions before Matthew would notice the bulge and remove his hands completely. It was not, Dominic knew, because either one was ashamed or fearful, it was because Matthew was something of a tease.

This did not deter the blonde, it merely served to arouse him more. For while Matthew's hands would find a way to remain separated from Dominic's body for extended periods of time, his tongue had further difficulty separating from his mouth. Where Matthew was excellent with his hands, he was absolutely exquisite gifted with his mouth, his declaration of using it more proving to be entirely truthful. And in the early sun of morning, as Dominic would prepare himself for work, he found his skin burning for the mouth that had caressed him just hours before.

In the first week of October, Dominic found himself at Ian's studio for a brief meeting. Having already informed his friend that the construction of Matthew's website was underway, he was relatively confused about why Ian had pressed so heavily that they needed to talk. While he knew that his skills as a web designer were intermediate at best, he was certain that Matthew's website looked relatively professional and he knew that Ian would be impressed with his work regardless. It was Dominic's knowledge of these things that made his stomach ache in apprehension as he walked through the glass doors, dreading for the first time in years a conversation which his mate.

He found Ian in his office, seated at his desk writing small numbers on an account form. Dominic knocked lightly on the doorframe, his breathing slowing to a near halt in anxiety, though he was uncertain why his body was responding in such a way. His confusion doubled when Ian greeted him with a bright smile and beckoned him in, tossing his pen to his desk to crack his knuckles.

"Thanks for saving me from managing my account, mate," Ian said with a laugh.

Dominic smiled as he entered the room, seating himself in the char in front of Ian's desk though not relaxing into it in the slightest. "Don't you have a secretary for that?" he joked.

Ian shook his head. "Christ no. I'm a type A personality, need to do everything myself. I also can't be arsed to hire someone. Bloody pain in the ass, sitting through all the interviews."

"You sound like my boss," Dominic laughed nervously. There was a tension in the room that had never been present since the two had met, and it made Dominic extremely uneasy. It felt strange to make small talk with someone he had been so close to for years, and he briefly thought over if it was he who was making the situation awkward.

"Look," Ian said, leaning forward. "I just want to ask you something...it's personal." He spoke the words slowly, carefully. "I mean...I've been watching you, mate, for the past few months, and you seem...different." He settled on the word, though he was not exactly pleased with it.

Dominic bristled, and he hoped it was not visible. "How so?" he asked, though he felt he knew exactly what Ian was getting at.

"Dominic, I have eyes," Ian said without hesitation. "I see how you look at Matthew, like you're positively aching for him. And I want to know how you could do that to Julia."

The blonde sat back in his chair, the weight of what Ian had said hitting him square in the chest. He thought they had been so careful, thought that he had kept himself in check during the recording sessions. Deep sensations of failure and fear flooded his veins, causing him to lose the power of speech for several moments before he could compose himself. This was Ian, his friend, and he deserved the truth.

"Julia and I are over," he stated softly. "I left her, rather she left me. About a month ago."

Ian absorbed the information quietly, as though he almost knew it himself. "When did things go wrong between you?" he asked after a short period of time.

Dominic sighed. "It wasn't as though there was a particular day when things stopped working, honestly, and that isn't to say that Matthew was to blame. Quite the opposite, really. It's just, I met him in Spain and I couldn't ignore how I felt."

"Dom, do you realize what you're saying?" Ian said, incredulous, his hand coming to touch his eyebrow briefly. "You were engaged to Julia and you went to Spain to celebrate that engagement! How could that have happened? Julia was perfect for you."

"Yes, she was," Dominic said, frustrated and fists clenching. "Julia was perfect and I will never deny that. She was perfect for me, but so is Matthew. And you know what?" Dominic paused, staring heavily into Ian's face. "I don't think that I really wanted to get married. Or that I loved Julia enough to marry her."

"What?" Ian said, stunned.

"I've thought about it, believe me I have thought about it, and I know that I loved Julia, because I still love her and I still miss her. But I promised her forever, and if I had meant it do you think my head would have turned in Matthew's direction? In anyone's direction? It shouldn't have happened that easily." Dominic spoke his words sternly, lacing his feelings and meaning with each beat of his diction. He watched as Ian sat in silence, the wake of his words filling the air with heat and tension.

"You were leaving Spain in just a few weeks," Ian said, confused. "What would have happened if you just left, no Matthew? If you hadn't known me to give him a career, what would have happened? It isn't like you would have ever seen him again."

"I would have wanted to though," Dominic said sternly. "I would have come back from Spain and spent months or years thinking 'what if?' I would constantly remember him and think about him; I would wonder who he was and what I could have done. And regardless of what happened, I would always remember how he made me feel."

"Dom, what's to say those feelings would have faded?"

"No, you're missing the point. I would have been thinking about him, missing him, wishing for him. I would have brought him home anyway. Julia said this and I didn't get it before...but now I guess I do. I would have brought him home in my mind. He would have been there between us anyway. And Julia deserves better than that. She deserved better than me." That that had been flying through the air as he spoke came to rest on its arm rest. Dominic smiled, feeling as though it was an action that Matthew would have executed.

Ian scratched his head, his eyes searching Dominic for answers or further explanations. It was the first time Dominic had ever seen his friend so worried or confused. The expression twisted his features and made him a stranger to the blonde.

"How do you know this isn't a phase? I mean, cold feet? You threw a secure relationship with Julia away, you threw a future away, for what? A Spanish guitarist that you've known for 5 months?"

Dominic offered Ian a small smile. "Getting married is a frightening thing, but not trying this with Matthew scares me even more. Julia was perfect. She was exactly what I needed until I met Matthew. He is beautiful and magnificent, and I feel like if he were to blow on me I would float away in the breeze. It was only after I met Matthew that I was scared of being with Julia for the rest of my life because it meant that I couldn't have Matthew the way I truly want to. It's like I need him, Ian. I need him." He paused then, gazing distantly at the leg he had crossed over his knee. He was unsure when he had started to feel relaxed in a room that was so tense, but it was although merely thinking of Matthew calmed his very being. "He's teaching me to be better - I want to be better, for him. He makes me want to be perfect...for him, I want to be perfect."

There was a brief moment of silence that was neither awkward nor relaxed, it was merely a moment for both to absorb the words that had been shared. Through the course of the month, Dominic had found himself mulling the words over in his mind, reasoning with his feelings in the wake of Julia's absence. And while the meaning, the feeling behind the words was still the same, it made his relationship with Matthew more real now that they had been vocalized.

Eventually, Dominic started to chuckle. "That sounds like I couldn't be bothered with Julia. I didn't mean it like that."

Ian released a small laugh before asking, "How did you mean it then?"

Dominic chewed on his bottom lip before speaking, wetting the swollen flesh with his tongue as he prepared his words. "Julia and I were at our best, you know? We had reached our pinnacle and I had grown as best as I could when I was with her. She taught me about how capable I am of loving someone, about compromise, about fighting for something you love. But there was no where else for us to go, you know? Every single time I'm with Matthew, I feel like I've changed...like I'm heading towards something spectacular. He's constantly showing me different sides of myself, and I think that's how it's supposed to be...when you're with someone."

Ian stared contemplatively into Dominic's gaze, nodding briefly before shrugging. "How do you know it's the real thing, though? I mean, there might be something better our there than Matthew. And that isn't to say there will be, but if it happened with Julia than it could happen with Matt. And you were so certain nothing would break you and Jules apart. What's the difference here? Because people are going to ask, and you can't keep going from relationship to relationship saying you want to learn about yourself. At some point, you need to know who you are and what you want. At some point, it has to stop."

"But how does anyone know?" Dominic countered, hand waving through the air once more. "How did you know when Sophia was the one for you? Do we ever really know? I'm not an expert on love, and I don't think anyone can be. I just know that I never had any interest in men before Matthew, and I don't have any interest in men OR women now that I'm with him. I just want him. Just him."

The ginger before him started to laugh, casually, and that allowed Dominic to relax a bit more. Ian reclined into his seat, cluing Dominic in that the intense questioning was over. He smiled, however, as he asked one last question. "So what is this? Are you gay now?"

Dominic laughed then, uncrossing his legs and placing his head in one of his palms. "No mate, I'm serious." He brought his gaze back to Ian's with a smile. "I don't look at blokes and think they're worth a shag, and I don't look at woman with any iota of interest. But I look at Matthew...and it's like I'm being consumed. It's like, I can't even call it chemistry because it actually feels like there's a magnetic force that pulls me to him. I couldn't deny it even if I tried - I did try, in fact. Look where that got me."

The pair laughed together, heartily, and Ian nodded his head as he prepared his final words. "I support you, mate. Whatever you are, I just want you to be happy. And I hope you know where I was coming from. Julia was a friend of mine too and I didn't know...you know, any of what was going on."

Dominic nodded. "Trust me, I would never have started a relationship with Matthew behind her back." He did not mention that he had kissed Matthew while he was still with Julia, however, for he still felt as though he had no control over his own actions when it came to Matthew's mouth. "And I hate that we ended the way we did, because I still love her. It's a different kind of love though, a friendly love. She means the world to me, but not the way a fiançee should."

"Dom...do you love Matthew?"

Ian's question hit the blonde square in the chest, his breath escaping him as his pulse quickened. Immediately, an answer came to his tongue, but he swallowed it in favor of letting his mind speak before his heart.

"It's too soon, really," he said slowly, trying desperately not to choke on his words. "It's only been a month, so I can't actually say if I do or don't. But I feel like - no, I know that I will. Soon."

~~

Later that evening, Dominic returned to his flat to find the door unlocked. He smiled, knowing well that it was Matthew who was the culprit. Just days before, he had handed the brunet a set of keys to his flat, clinging to Matt's fingers a little longer as he pressed the metal into his palm. Ian's question came to his mind once more, causing him to psychoanalyze why he had gifted Matthew with such an important item so soon in their relationship. It was silly to think so hard on it, for he already knew the answer, but to vocalize it, to send it out into the atmosphere, was not something he was prepared for.

Pushing open the door, he shook his mind of any thought other than those of the arms he longed to be in.

"Hello?" he called.

Matthew emerged from the living room, a cup of coffee in his hands and a large grin on his face. "I hope you don't mind that I'm here. I've never been given keys to someone else's flat before...I just wanted to try them...to see what it was like to be here without you."

With impossible grace he placed his mug on the counter top and brought his arms to Dom's waist, the separate motions seeming to blend into one fluid motion.

"And how does it feel?" Dominic asked, running his fingers in circular motions in the small of Matthew's back.

"It's nice. I quite like it," the brunet giggled. "Bit strange not seeing you mill about though."

Initially, Dominic felt a bit disappointed with Matthew's answer, expecting the words 'like home' to fall easily form his lips. He stopped the feeling, however, knowing that saying a place felt like home was just as heavy as saying the words 'I love you.' They could not be rushed, although they could be said in minute, symbolic ways. Once again, it was the act of vocalizing them so clearly that seemed to change the dynamic of a relationship.

And, with the thought of the word 'love,' Dominic was reminded of Ian and his knowledge of their relationship. It was only fair that Matthew knew the subject of their conversation that afternoon.

"Matt, Ian knows about us," he said, simply. He knew he was tactless in his delivery, but he could not find any words to cushion the sentence.

Matthew's eyebrows arched, his hands slipping from Dominic's body. "Well, that's a subject shift," he said with a small laugh. He grabbed his mug once more, walking backwards to lean against the counter, Dominic following to do the same across from him. He shook his dark hair form his eyes as he spoke. "Why did you tell him?"

"I didn't, he figured it out on his own," Dom explained. "He said he'd been watching me, and my actions around you, for some time. He was mostly concerned abut why I was cheating on Julia with you, or if I had been thinking about it."

"What did you tell him?" Matthew asked slowly.

Momentarily, Dominic lost himself in the conversation as his eyes drank the pieces of Matthew's body he loved the most. In the white v-neck shirt, he seemed almost iridescent, his pale skin pale skin seeming to glimmer in the dim light of the room. Posture relaxed, long fingers wrapped around the black mug, he seemed to be a creature of sheer beauty and Dominic felt his body responding to him without the brunet doing anything at all.

"Dom?" Matt asked.

The blonde raised his eyes to Matthew's piercing blue, the brunet smiling coyly.

"Focus," Matt giggled.

"Sorry." Dominic sheepishly rubbed his brow as a blush tinted his cheeks. "I told him that Julia and I were over, that I was happy with you. Mostly the same things I've had to repeat to everyone."

"I see," Matt nodded. He gazed into the remains of his coffee, something else passing through his mind.

'What is it?" Dom asked tentatively. He pushed himself from the counter and stood before Matthew, hands resting on his hips and he bathed the other man in gaze of sheer concern.

"Nothing, just..." Matthew drifted. "Do you think he knew what happened in the bathroom, you know, the day I cornered you?" A cheeky smile appeared on his face, blue eyes glittering with mischief.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Dom laughed, backing away from Matt as his high pitched giggles filled the room. "I didn't even want to think about that and now I'm nearly positive he knew something was up. God, you are such a tease!"

Matt dropped his mug once more and trapped Dominic against the wall closest to the bedroom. Bodies pressed together, Dominic's breathing began to hitch as he drowned in Matthew's presence.

"I think I had you trapped...something like this, didn't I?" Matthew whispered along Dominic's neck. His skin began to ignite as a hot tongue traced the veins and tendons with meticulous care, hands stroking up Dominic's sides. The blonde shivered, his eyes blurring momentarily.

"Like I said," Dom rasped, "a tease." His hands pressed themselves to the curve of Matthew's bum, pulling the brunet tighter against his body. Groins rubbing together, Matthew released a whimper that made Dominic's head spin.

"Would you want me any other way?" Matthew asked softly, his lips grazing the corner of Dom's mouth as he spoke.

"No," Dom sighed, his breath coming in short gasps. "I want you. I just want you."

Dominic's words of 'I love you this way' died on his tongue as soon as it came into contact with Matthew's, twisting and moving in an artistic synchronization that wiped every thought from his brain.

Current Music: Marble House - The Knife

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OH MY OH MY OH MY!

I MISSED THESE TWO SO MUCH!!! <333333

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Finding beauty in the dissonance

The Long Surrender: 22/??

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