The Long Surrender: 16/??
Jan. 21st, 2011 02:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lalalive23Title: The Long Surrender
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lalalive23
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Swearing and a wank
Summary: AU. Matt moved to Spain immediately after his lover left him to continue his work on the Spanish guitar. When Dom takes a holiday with his new fiancee, his world gets turned upside down and nothing is ever the same again.
Feedback: Not gonna lie, I'm a feedback whore. I get the shakes without it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse. If I did, they sure as hell would not be let out of the naughty closet. I don't make money off this. If I did, I would be a rich lady and not distracting myself from writing an undergrad thesis that is somehow much bigger than I.
Note: Sorry about last chapter guys LOL. Giving you an NC-17 rating and not explaining that the big bang is still a ways away. How's that for a spoiler? Anyhoo. This chapter contains two of the lines I am most proud of..ever. In any of my fic. See if you can find them! This also was basically got banged out in a day. Which is really unusual considering it takes me about 3 days lately to even come up with how I want to connect major events. It's like...SUDDENLY I'M BACK AT SCHOOL AND I'M UPDATING DAILY. Unfortunately, I spoiled you all way too much in November, cause I don't see that happening ever again. But....anyway....this note is so off track it's scary. You know what....just enjoy the fic LOL.
EPIC THANKS MADE OF FIRE to my beta babesdolce_piccante , millionstar , and sunshine_173 for reviewing my fave bits of this, staying awake with me for writing parties, listening to my insecurities and assuring me that people do actually like this story <3
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14A Chapter 14B Chapter 15
In an effort to maintain the façade of their normal relationship, the week following their somewhat conflicted reconciliation found Dominic joining Matthew in the studio nearly every single day. As the brunet's primary support system, it was necessary that he be present for the trials and tribulations that came with recording his demo. While the sessions with Ian became more frequent, Matthew's demeanor seemed to become more and more demure. It was apparent that the lack of an audience, or stage, seemed to accentuate his introversion, as if the pressure of recording a demo was forcing him to question the ability all three knew he already had.
Per Ian's request, Matthew had constructed several new songs, each containing lyrics so that the cd could contain new material as well as his well constructed instrumental pieces. For Dominic, his time at the studio was more a test of will power than an act of pleasure. Keeping up appearances was exhausting whenever Matthew would softly open his lips to sing, each word like hot liquid dripping down his skin and pooling at the head of his cock. Ian, for his part, never noticed the affect the music had over the blonde, his own eyes closing as he lost himself in the music until he heard something he wanted to fix. It was only when Ian asked personal questions about Matthew that he thought the blonde would know that Dominic needed to participate in the present moment. Every other second of the recording sessions would be spent studying the fibers of the carpet in a vain attempt make it through the night.
As he watched, Matthew's strong biceps flexing as he strummed his guitar in his tight white shirt, Dominic felt himself swimming in his arousal. Captivated completely by altogether majestic vision of Matthew before him, he hardly registered the vibrating of his mobile in his pocked. He thanked the object for the distraction, knowing well that his body was carrying him mindlessly down a dangerously erotic path to the heart of his fantasies. Pulling out his mobile, he cautiously eyes the screen as he read the word JULIA.
<<Are you still at work?>>
He shook his head, as though she could see the action and began tapping out a quick reply.
<<No. AM at the studio with Matthew.>>
He placed the mobile back in his pocket and refused his eyes the pleasure of gazing longingly at Matthew, instead focusing on the red of Ian's hair. The brunet would never see him stare so desperately, his blue eyes shut as he lost himself in the music. Silently, he was thankful that Matthew recorded his music this way, remembering all too well what if felt like to be held unwillingly under the passionate stare of the azure as it drowned in sound.
His mobile buzzed again, and this time he felt it, his hand resting in his pocket against its back.
<<Right.>>
Dominic furrowed his brow at the unusual text, the word itself seeming cold and strangely accusatory.
<<What's up?>>
This time, he held his phone in his hand, turning away from the window entirely, as if doing so would give him privacy with his apparently upset fiancee. Her response was quick, as though she had hardly looked away from her phone for his reply.
<<Nothing. Have fun.>>
It was in Julia's gentle and loving nature to close her conversations over text with the symbols 'xx' or with a simple love you. Never before had her closing line been so cold and, in a slightly foreign way, he coldness seemed to pierce him through the heart - pierced through with cruelty.
He did not bother to reply, knowing that he deserved her cruelty. Taking it made him feel better about himself, as much as he was loathe to admit it.
Releasing a sight into the atmosphere, he turned, eyes to the floor to prevent himself from looking at Matthew. Heat seemed to slither over his body, snake like tongues gently kissing the hairs on his skin to raise them along his arms. Slowly he brought his eyes to the window, only to find Matthew staring hard into his face. The blue paralyzed him, turning him to stone as Medusa herself would. He could not move, he could not think. He could only feel.
Light falsetto notes echoed around him and he began to shake, the marrow of his bones tingling with the beauty of Matthew's voice. The click and clatter of a chair next to him let him know that Ian himself was shifting from the sudden sound, Matthew's perfect pitch forcing everyone in the room to become mesmerized.
He had to leave, had to escape the overwhelming urge to press his hand to the glass and beg Matthew to come to him. He twisted his body to turn away, heading straight for the door. As he pushed it open, he heard a sweet sound come from Matthew's mouth, and his knees buckled from the force of keeping themselves on track. His trousers constricted, and his suit jacket felt more like a straightjacket than anything else. He was certain he was suffocating under the pressure of Matthew's beauty.
He bolted through the hallway, making a bee line for the bathroom, a place he knew would be utterly silent.
He pushed open the men's room door, hands clenching and unclenching into fists at his sides. Innumerable ounces of desire grew and gathered in his groin, straining his trousers and causing him to hiss at the pressure. When Dominic had met Julia, he had felt awkward and embarrassed, pacing in various bathrooms to work out speeches and words, intelligent things to say to impress her without sounding foolish. Yes, he had desired her, felt his face and neck flush from want, had to look away from her quizzical stare to regain his composure. Yet, his desire for Matthew was a catalyst for action. Hearing his voice forced his legs to twitching, set his heart to soaring. Every fiber of his being needed to be focused on not moving towards him, not lifting his arms to reach for him, to hold him. One slip in thought would find him wrapped in the arms of another.
His feet carried him from either side of the room, his hands running anxiously through his hair as he huffed out needy breaths. Tucked away in the silence of the bathroom, his body began to scream, crying out for the brunet singing softly in the next room. He stopped in front of the sinks, leaning and gripping the cold porcelain with his sweaty palms. Dim lights made his skin look gray, and as he stared into his own reflection he began to loathe himself, knowing fully well that his decision had been made over a week ago, in a sunny living room that glowed sea-foam green from newly spread paint. He was a coward, a cheat, a liar, and somehow, he still couldn't bring himself to say the words to Julia.
The door creaked open, the sound startling the blonde and causing him to whip his head around, nearly giving himself whiplash. Matthew stood, eyes wide with a smirk on his face, leaning against the door frame; somehow, he looked absolutely wolfish.
"What are you doing in here, Dominic?" The words rolled off his tongue, lips moving slowly to accentuate their formation of the sentence. His full bottom lip was brought to a pout, and Dominic felt his fingers positively ache to trace it with their pads. "Are you hiding from me?"
"N-no," Dominic stuttered, shaking his head. He blushed, his voice getting stuck in his suddenly dry throat. "Just....washing my hands."
"You don't have to lie." Matthew moved from the door as he allowed the last syllable to hang in the air, his hips swaying as he moved. Dominic swallowed hard.
As Matthew advanced, Dominic walked backwards, keeping a safe distance between himself and the hungry brunet. Never once did he feel intimidated, cornered, or frightened. Instead, his cock twitched as he imagined wrapping Matthew's slim legs around his waist. His back his the wall on the opposite side of the bathroom, and then, without anywhere else to go, his body become alarmingly aware of Matthew's close proximity to his body. Planting his palms on the cool tile behind him, he imagined chains binding him to that position, hoping to prevent himself from caressing Matthew in any way, shape or form.
Trapped: by his desire, his surroundings, and Matthew, Dominic surrendered himself to the moment and heaved a great sigh as he leant his head against the wall as Matthew pressed their hips together.
Height difference making itself known, the smaller man leant his face into the center of Dom's neck, and Dominic could feel the air around his skin shift as his eyes rolled back into his head. A heightening of his senses rippled through him, the tendons and pulse points of his neck straining under the brunet's tender exploration. He felt him sniff, taking in the exact aroma of his skin, taking it deep, taking it hard, as though to cycle it through his system so it could linger on his tongue without even opening his mouth. Long, slender fingers traced the protruding veins, grazing with the lightness of air, sending sporadic shivers down Dominic's spine. They stroked down and up, coming to rest the entire hand beneath his jaw as Dominic's nose grazed the other side, his eyelashes tickling all of Dominic's nerves.
"I just," Matthew whispered, the air from his mouth making the hairs along the blonde's skin raise, "wanted to know how your decision was coming along." He said the words so slowly, so quietly, that Dominic found himself focusing on the pattern of Matthew's breaths to decipher the words as they feel form his lips; lips that were lightly tracing patterns on his pulse as he spoke. Dominic pressed the base of his spine into the wall, praying to escape the onslaught of attention his body was receiving. Matthew only responding by pressing harder, their cocks grinding with awe-inspiring force.
Choking out a loud groan, Dominic's eye lashes fluttered as he attempted to focus. "It's fine," he gasped. "Fine." His jaw began to tremble, the skilled digits of the brunet skittering against his as he spoke.
Hairs atop Matthew's head slid against the side of his face, Dominic coming to realize that Matthew was lifting his mouth to his ear. His eyes blurred and he forced himself to focus, memorizing the patterns in the ceiling paint, counting the number of small tiles beneath his fingers.
Focus on everything but Matthew. Everything but Matthew. His body twisted the words as his mind repeated the mantra. Nothing but Matthew.
Hot, heavy breaths panted into his ear, the hairs on the side of his face swaying in the light breeze. It was then that he shut his eyes, fingers tensing against the wall as they slid into fists. In a prison of his own desire, there was nothing else for him to do but wait out the exquisite torture.
"No puedo comenzar," Matthew whispered breathily, lips grazing the shell of Dominic's right ear, "a decirte lo contenta que estoy de saber que." Matthew spoke the words with agonizing slowness, and as the words dripped sensual promises into Dominic's lust hazed mind, Dominic felt the last of his control disappear.
Roughly, his hands ripped away from the wall, bringing the palms to rest flush against the cheeks of Matthew's arse to push their bodies together. His head dipped onto Matthew's shoulder at the pleasure. He then felt a warm tongue lap gently at his lobe, so gently he almost didn't feel it at all.
"I love knowing I have this control over you," Matthew giggled softly. "And I haven't even exploited it the way I should. But I'm patient. Have fun Dominic."
With a thrust of his hips into Dominic's groin, he pushed himself away and turned, walking to the door without a glance back to the blonde who was shivering as though he had been left in the cold.
~~
Dominic's body hummed as he walked the empty streets on his way home, reviewing every moment he had spent with Matthew in the bathroom repeatedly in his mind. The feel of Matthew's hips against his had forced his heart to beat out morse code love notes against his chest, the mere implication of the action erasing any memory knowledge of the need for a decision. In the aftermath, however, the guilt that he had placed his hands so quickly on the flesh of Matthew's arse chewed patterns on his insides that he wished could represent the nature of his sins.
He felt guilty, but he did not feel regret.
He shook his head as he waited for a stop light to change, bringing his mind quickly back to the text message Julia had sent him. Not wanting to return home to a battlefield, his mind raced with various excuses he could make. He blushed. She did not need excuses. If anything, she needed the truth.
Part of him began to wish that he could drive her way, his willingness to ignore her giving him an open door to pushing her out the door without once having to speak the truth. But he would never do that. No, Julia would not allow him to treat her thus, and through sheer female intuition she would know what to say to bring the truth kicking and screaming from the depths of his soul.
Yes, she would learn the truth. It was only a matter of time.
It was torturous, however, to think for a long period of time on just exactly how long it would be until she discovered his truths. Parts of himself were clawing at his insides, begging to tell her as soon as he walked through the door. But he wanted to time it correctly, did not want to hurl vile words at her that smelled only of honesty while she was blithely unprepared. No, it was a matter of planning and preparing a speech, organizing his thoughts in the least hurtful way before his could reveal what had conspired under her nose.
Entering his flat with a sight, he dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and began to undo the buttons of his white dress shirt as he walked.
"Jules, I'm home!" he called, hoping his cheery tone would offset any of her possible anger.
Upon first glance, Julia was no where to be found, the flat completely silent and he could see her in the living room or kitchen.
Rounding the small corner wall that separated the kitchen from the living room, he found her on the couch typing up a proposal, her fingers working rapidly at the keys. She did not have headphones in.
"Hey baby," he said with a charming smile, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.
Swiftly, she ducked away from his lips, brow furrowed as she refused to turn to face him.
"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling away.
Thoughts ran through his mind, part of him hoping and praying she had discovered his forbidden enterprises.
"Take a guess," she said flatly.
He seriously she doubted she wanted him to actually do that. "Uhm," he mumbled dumbly.
"Matthew? The studio? Does this conversation ring any bells?" She continued typing, her fingers never faltering over the keys.
His breathing returned to normal, realizing that he had once again escaped the crossfire. "I know you don't like it that I go there -"
Julia cut him off. "No. Actually, I don't fucking care that you go. What I care about is that you spend all of your fucking time there. You go every night! What could you possibly be doing? And how goddamn long does it take to record a demo?"
Dominic was taken aback by his her words, the harshness of them stunning him. "It's a slow process, Jules," he began tentatively. "Ian's very careful, that's why he's the best. And he's doing this for free. I'm sure if we were paying for studio time it would have taken less time. Time constraints and all."
"Well that's a backwards way of looking at it." she said sharply.
"What? Why?" he asked, dumfounded.
"He's the best in the business, right? He's doing you a favor, right? But this is a business. He can't be spending all his time working on a favor. Wouldn't he spend more time on the bands that were paying for it, milk their funds and pay less attention to this?"
The cruelty that fell from her lips surprised him, her sudden misinterpretation of Ian's character making him see red. "What the fuck, Julia?" he said angrily. "Ian's a great guy. You know him! He isn't some corporate bastard that wants to hang Matthew out to dry. And if you remember correctly, Matthew is a talented bloke! He has a lot of creativity that's worth sifting through and exploring. Who the fuck are you right now?"
"Who am I?" she said quickly, snapping her head in his direction. Her green eyes looked like angry, dark swirls one would find in a swamp. It was a shade he had never seen before, causing him to step back a few feet. "I am your fiancee, god-dammit. So you should probably start treating me like it. I'm happy for Matthew, really, I am. Because you know what? I know him. I know that he is too good natured to ask you to be with him every fucking day of the week. He's too good of a person, and he's a big boy. He doesn't need you to hold his hand through this. So I know you're going there on your own free will. So tell me, hmm? Why are you trying to run from me?"
The words stung him like icicles against his skin, everything she spoke true and rational. Nothing he could say could refute her words, no excuses, no answers. Instead, he merely opened and closed his mouth repeatedly until he said the only thing that could come to mind.
"I'm sorry, baby."
She turned from him, facing back at her computer as she began to type. The conversation was closed, ended promptly by her distinct inability to accept his apology. She had heard it several times before, he knew, and there was nothing else he could do to make the words less sour.
He left her on the couch, turning away, much as Matthew had, without a second glance. His fingers deftly undid the rest of the buttons of his shirt as he walked, tugging it off his shoulders as he toed his dress shoes off at the same time. Tension in his neck rippled, and he bent his head from side to side as his hands undid the fly of his trousers.
Everything around him was crumbling. His relationship with Julia was pulled like a fraying rope hanging on it's last threads. He needed to tell her, needed to deliver the final blow. There was no way he could escape it. He was standing on the edge of a deadly precipice, tethered tightly to something that was weighing him down, pulling him over the edge. The only hope for survival was to cut the strands adn walk away.
Fully naked and entering his bathroom, he turned the shower nozzle onto hot and let the steam fill the room before he stepped inside. Surrounding him in its tender warmth, the steam and water seemed to lick his concerns away, leaving only a brightly coloured vision of Matthew in their wet wake. Julia evaporated from his mind completely, the water soaking up her abrasive honestly and leaving him with a flesh memory of Matthew's hips against him.
Lathering the soap in his hands, he let his body rest against the wall as he ran his hands up and down his chest, remembering only how Matthew had wickedly used his Spanish to twits Dominic's misgivings about his relationship with his fiancee. He should have known, all those days ago, that admitting his inability to refuse the brunet was easily giving the man in question the upper hand. He knew that Matthew would exploit it, and he would use it at random, leaving Dominic with no time to prepare. The stunt he had pulled in the bathroom was only the beginning, and Dominic knew he would swiftly be reduced to a helpless bundle of nerves if he allowed him to continue.
Frustration ran amuck in his veins, coming to pool heartily in his groin, forcing his cock to harden at the memory of Matthew's whispers. Automatically his soap slicked hand wrapped around his cock, remembering with guilt the way Julia had sucked him eagerly and how he had so vividly pictured her to be the man that teased him so well.
Guilt and pleasure fought heroically against one another until pleasure won out, and the sensation of Matthew's fingers on his neck traveled through his synapses down to his cock. His hand morphed, becoming Matthew's strong fist that pumped him so thoroughly, so smoothly. Matthew's mouth was suddenly back in his neck, the full bottom lip dragging itself along his pulse as his blood ran down and away, turning the strained member in his hand a stunning shade of purple.
For a moment, he tried to reverse the affect, to picture Julia in place of Matthew, but his efforts were futile. Pleasure, given and taken, was a thing in which choice ruled the game. Julia provided pleasure, yes, but the pleasure itself exponentially increased in level when it was delivered from Matthew's hands, mouth, legs, and hips, by comparison. He was helpless to deny that his body had chosen Matthew long before his heart had, and only now was his mind catching up the game.
His hips began to buck wildly, his finger nails dragging along the places he knew were the most sensitive along the underside of his cock. His fist tightened and sped up the pace, his head coming to bow lightly from the strain. Forcing his eyes shut, the image of Matthew became startlingly vivid, as though a perfect memory that had just been waiting for the right time to display itself behind his eyes. Desire possessed his body, his heart aching at the fact that he could not reach his arms out to grab hold of the brunet as he neared his climax. He wanted to cling to him hold him,and shiver beneath him until the world faded into the soothing black of sleep. Pressed against his body, Dominic was sure nothing would harm him. At the thought of lying with Matthew in his bed, strangled cries of pleasure and regret burst forth form his mouth, until his lips began to eagerly form words.
There was only one word on his lips as he came, hot and hard over his hand and the shower wall. The name he had tried so hard to suppress the week before was ecstatically released as a cry, the blonde biting his lip with a smile as soon as it was said. Matthew.
Coming down from his orgasm, Dominic watched with half lidded eyes as his thick come mixed languidly with the water. It struggled as it swirled down the drain, much the way his relationship with Julia had disappeared before his very eyes.
-------
Translation:
"I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to hear that."
Author:
lalalive23 Pairing: Belldom
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Swearing and a wank
Summary: AU. Matt moved to Spain immediately after his lover left him to continue his work on the Spanish guitar. When Dom takes a holiday with his new fiancee, his world gets turned upside down and nothing is ever the same again.
Feedback: Not gonna lie, I'm a feedback whore. I get the shakes without it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse. If I did, they sure as hell would not be let out of the naughty closet. I don't make money off this. If I did, I would be a rich lady and not distracting myself from writing an undergrad thesis that is somehow much bigger than I.
Note: Sorry about last chapter guys LOL. Giving you an NC-17 rating and not explaining that the big bang is still a ways away. How's that for a spoiler? Anyhoo. This chapter contains two of the lines I am most proud of..ever. In any of my fic. See if you can find them! This also was basically got banged out in a day. Which is really unusual considering it takes me about 3 days lately to even come up with how I want to connect major events. It's like...SUDDENLY I'M BACK AT SCHOOL AND I'M UPDATING DAILY. Unfortunately, I spoiled you all way too much in November, cause I don't see that happening ever again. But....anyway....this note is so off track it's scary. You know what....just enjoy the fic LOL.
EPIC THANKS MADE OF FIRE to my beta babes
dolce_piccante , millionstar , and sunshine_173 for reviewing my fave bits of this, staying awake with me for writing parties, listening to my insecurities and assuring me that people do actually like this story <3Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14A Chapter 14B Chapter 15
In an effort to maintain the façade of their normal relationship, the week following their somewhat conflicted reconciliation found Dominic joining Matthew in the studio nearly every single day. As the brunet's primary support system, it was necessary that he be present for the trials and tribulations that came with recording his demo. While the sessions with Ian became more frequent, Matthew's demeanor seemed to become more and more demure. It was apparent that the lack of an audience, or stage, seemed to accentuate his introversion, as if the pressure of recording a demo was forcing him to question the ability all three knew he already had.
Per Ian's request, Matthew had constructed several new songs, each containing lyrics so that the cd could contain new material as well as his well constructed instrumental pieces. For Dominic, his time at the studio was more a test of will power than an act of pleasure. Keeping up appearances was exhausting whenever Matthew would softly open his lips to sing, each word like hot liquid dripping down his skin and pooling at the head of his cock. Ian, for his part, never noticed the affect the music had over the blonde, his own eyes closing as he lost himself in the music until he heard something he wanted to fix. It was only when Ian asked personal questions about Matthew that he thought the blonde would know that Dominic needed to participate in the present moment. Every other second of the recording sessions would be spent studying the fibers of the carpet in a vain attempt make it through the night.
As he watched, Matthew's strong biceps flexing as he strummed his guitar in his tight white shirt, Dominic felt himself swimming in his arousal. Captivated completely by altogether majestic vision of Matthew before him, he hardly registered the vibrating of his mobile in his pocked. He thanked the object for the distraction, knowing well that his body was carrying him mindlessly down a dangerously erotic path to the heart of his fantasies. Pulling out his mobile, he cautiously eyes the screen as he read the word JULIA.
<<Are you still at work?>>
He shook his head, as though she could see the action and began tapping out a quick reply.
<<No. AM at the studio with Matthew.>>
He placed the mobile back in his pocket and refused his eyes the pleasure of gazing longingly at Matthew, instead focusing on the red of Ian's hair. The brunet would never see him stare so desperately, his blue eyes shut as he lost himself in the music. Silently, he was thankful that Matthew recorded his music this way, remembering all too well what if felt like to be held unwillingly under the passionate stare of the azure as it drowned in sound.
His mobile buzzed again, and this time he felt it, his hand resting in his pocket against its back.
<<Right.>>
Dominic furrowed his brow at the unusual text, the word itself seeming cold and strangely accusatory.
<<What's up?>>
This time, he held his phone in his hand, turning away from the window entirely, as if doing so would give him privacy with his apparently upset fiancee. Her response was quick, as though she had hardly looked away from her phone for his reply.
<<Nothing. Have fun.>>
It was in Julia's gentle and loving nature to close her conversations over text with the symbols 'xx' or with a simple love you. Never before had her closing line been so cold and, in a slightly foreign way, he coldness seemed to pierce him through the heart - pierced through with cruelty.
He did not bother to reply, knowing that he deserved her cruelty. Taking it made him feel better about himself, as much as he was loathe to admit it.
Releasing a sight into the atmosphere, he turned, eyes to the floor to prevent himself from looking at Matthew. Heat seemed to slither over his body, snake like tongues gently kissing the hairs on his skin to raise them along his arms. Slowly he brought his eyes to the window, only to find Matthew staring hard into his face. The blue paralyzed him, turning him to stone as Medusa herself would. He could not move, he could not think. He could only feel.
Light falsetto notes echoed around him and he began to shake, the marrow of his bones tingling with the beauty of Matthew's voice. The click and clatter of a chair next to him let him know that Ian himself was shifting from the sudden sound, Matthew's perfect pitch forcing everyone in the room to become mesmerized.
He had to leave, had to escape the overwhelming urge to press his hand to the glass and beg Matthew to come to him. He twisted his body to turn away, heading straight for the door. As he pushed it open, he heard a sweet sound come from Matthew's mouth, and his knees buckled from the force of keeping themselves on track. His trousers constricted, and his suit jacket felt more like a straightjacket than anything else. He was certain he was suffocating under the pressure of Matthew's beauty.
He bolted through the hallway, making a bee line for the bathroom, a place he knew would be utterly silent.
He pushed open the men's room door, hands clenching and unclenching into fists at his sides. Innumerable ounces of desire grew and gathered in his groin, straining his trousers and causing him to hiss at the pressure. When Dominic had met Julia, he had felt awkward and embarrassed, pacing in various bathrooms to work out speeches and words, intelligent things to say to impress her without sounding foolish. Yes, he had desired her, felt his face and neck flush from want, had to look away from her quizzical stare to regain his composure. Yet, his desire for Matthew was a catalyst for action. Hearing his voice forced his legs to twitching, set his heart to soaring. Every fiber of his being needed to be focused on not moving towards him, not lifting his arms to reach for him, to hold him. One slip in thought would find him wrapped in the arms of another.
His feet carried him from either side of the room, his hands running anxiously through his hair as he huffed out needy breaths. Tucked away in the silence of the bathroom, his body began to scream, crying out for the brunet singing softly in the next room. He stopped in front of the sinks, leaning and gripping the cold porcelain with his sweaty palms. Dim lights made his skin look gray, and as he stared into his own reflection he began to loathe himself, knowing fully well that his decision had been made over a week ago, in a sunny living room that glowed sea-foam green from newly spread paint. He was a coward, a cheat, a liar, and somehow, he still couldn't bring himself to say the words to Julia.
The door creaked open, the sound startling the blonde and causing him to whip his head around, nearly giving himself whiplash. Matthew stood, eyes wide with a smirk on his face, leaning against the door frame; somehow, he looked absolutely wolfish.
"What are you doing in here, Dominic?" The words rolled off his tongue, lips moving slowly to accentuate their formation of the sentence. His full bottom lip was brought to a pout, and Dominic felt his fingers positively ache to trace it with their pads. "Are you hiding from me?"
"N-no," Dominic stuttered, shaking his head. He blushed, his voice getting stuck in his suddenly dry throat. "Just....washing my hands."
"You don't have to lie." Matthew moved from the door as he allowed the last syllable to hang in the air, his hips swaying as he moved. Dominic swallowed hard.
As Matthew advanced, Dominic walked backwards, keeping a safe distance between himself and the hungry brunet. Never once did he feel intimidated, cornered, or frightened. Instead, his cock twitched as he imagined wrapping Matthew's slim legs around his waist. His back his the wall on the opposite side of the bathroom, and then, without anywhere else to go, his body become alarmingly aware of Matthew's close proximity to his body. Planting his palms on the cool tile behind him, he imagined chains binding him to that position, hoping to prevent himself from caressing Matthew in any way, shape or form.
Trapped: by his desire, his surroundings, and Matthew, Dominic surrendered himself to the moment and heaved a great sigh as he leant his head against the wall as Matthew pressed their hips together.
Height difference making itself known, the smaller man leant his face into the center of Dom's neck, and Dominic could feel the air around his skin shift as his eyes rolled back into his head. A heightening of his senses rippled through him, the tendons and pulse points of his neck straining under the brunet's tender exploration. He felt him sniff, taking in the exact aroma of his skin, taking it deep, taking it hard, as though to cycle it through his system so it could linger on his tongue without even opening his mouth. Long, slender fingers traced the protruding veins, grazing with the lightness of air, sending sporadic shivers down Dominic's spine. They stroked down and up, coming to rest the entire hand beneath his jaw as Dominic's nose grazed the other side, his eyelashes tickling all of Dominic's nerves.
"I just," Matthew whispered, the air from his mouth making the hairs along the blonde's skin raise, "wanted to know how your decision was coming along." He said the words so slowly, so quietly, that Dominic found himself focusing on the pattern of Matthew's breaths to decipher the words as they feel form his lips; lips that were lightly tracing patterns on his pulse as he spoke. Dominic pressed the base of his spine into the wall, praying to escape the onslaught of attention his body was receiving. Matthew only responding by pressing harder, their cocks grinding with awe-inspiring force.
Choking out a loud groan, Dominic's eye lashes fluttered as he attempted to focus. "It's fine," he gasped. "Fine." His jaw began to tremble, the skilled digits of the brunet skittering against his as he spoke.
Hairs atop Matthew's head slid against the side of his face, Dominic coming to realize that Matthew was lifting his mouth to his ear. His eyes blurred and he forced himself to focus, memorizing the patterns in the ceiling paint, counting the number of small tiles beneath his fingers.
Focus on everything but Matthew. Everything but Matthew. His body twisted the words as his mind repeated the mantra. Nothing but Matthew.
Hot, heavy breaths panted into his ear, the hairs on the side of his face swaying in the light breeze. It was then that he shut his eyes, fingers tensing against the wall as they slid into fists. In a prison of his own desire, there was nothing else for him to do but wait out the exquisite torture.
"No puedo comenzar," Matthew whispered breathily, lips grazing the shell of Dominic's right ear, "a decirte lo contenta que estoy de saber que." Matthew spoke the words with agonizing slowness, and as the words dripped sensual promises into Dominic's lust hazed mind, Dominic felt the last of his control disappear.
Roughly, his hands ripped away from the wall, bringing the palms to rest flush against the cheeks of Matthew's arse to push their bodies together. His head dipped onto Matthew's shoulder at the pleasure. He then felt a warm tongue lap gently at his lobe, so gently he almost didn't feel it at all.
"I love knowing I have this control over you," Matthew giggled softly. "And I haven't even exploited it the way I should. But I'm patient. Have fun Dominic."
With a thrust of his hips into Dominic's groin, he pushed himself away and turned, walking to the door without a glance back to the blonde who was shivering as though he had been left in the cold.
~~
Dominic's body hummed as he walked the empty streets on his way home, reviewing every moment he had spent with Matthew in the bathroom repeatedly in his mind. The feel of Matthew's hips against his had forced his heart to beat out morse code love notes against his chest, the mere implication of the action erasing any memory knowledge of the need for a decision. In the aftermath, however, the guilt that he had placed his hands so quickly on the flesh of Matthew's arse chewed patterns on his insides that he wished could represent the nature of his sins.
He felt guilty, but he did not feel regret.
He shook his head as he waited for a stop light to change, bringing his mind quickly back to the text message Julia had sent him. Not wanting to return home to a battlefield, his mind raced with various excuses he could make. He blushed. She did not need excuses. If anything, she needed the truth.
Part of him began to wish that he could drive her way, his willingness to ignore her giving him an open door to pushing her out the door without once having to speak the truth. But he would never do that. No, Julia would not allow him to treat her thus, and through sheer female intuition she would know what to say to bring the truth kicking and screaming from the depths of his soul.
Yes, she would learn the truth. It was only a matter of time.
It was torturous, however, to think for a long period of time on just exactly how long it would be until she discovered his truths. Parts of himself were clawing at his insides, begging to tell her as soon as he walked through the door. But he wanted to time it correctly, did not want to hurl vile words at her that smelled only of honesty while she was blithely unprepared. No, it was a matter of planning and preparing a speech, organizing his thoughts in the least hurtful way before his could reveal what had conspired under her nose.
Entering his flat with a sight, he dropped his keys in the bowl by the door and began to undo the buttons of his white dress shirt as he walked.
"Jules, I'm home!" he called, hoping his cheery tone would offset any of her possible anger.
Upon first glance, Julia was no where to be found, the flat completely silent and he could see her in the living room or kitchen.
Rounding the small corner wall that separated the kitchen from the living room, he found her on the couch typing up a proposal, her fingers working rapidly at the keys. She did not have headphones in.
"Hey baby," he said with a charming smile, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.
Swiftly, she ducked away from his lips, brow furrowed as she refused to turn to face him.
"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling away.
Thoughts ran through his mind, part of him hoping and praying she had discovered his forbidden enterprises.
"Take a guess," she said flatly.
He seriously she doubted she wanted him to actually do that. "Uhm," he mumbled dumbly.
"Matthew? The studio? Does this conversation ring any bells?" She continued typing, her fingers never faltering over the keys.
His breathing returned to normal, realizing that he had once again escaped the crossfire. "I know you don't like it that I go there -"
Julia cut him off. "No. Actually, I don't fucking care that you go. What I care about is that you spend all of your fucking time there. You go every night! What could you possibly be doing? And how goddamn long does it take to record a demo?"
Dominic was taken aback by his her words, the harshness of them stunning him. "It's a slow process, Jules," he began tentatively. "Ian's very careful, that's why he's the best. And he's doing this for free. I'm sure if we were paying for studio time it would have taken less time. Time constraints and all."
"Well that's a backwards way of looking at it." she said sharply.
"What? Why?" he asked, dumfounded.
"He's the best in the business, right? He's doing you a favor, right? But this is a business. He can't be spending all his time working on a favor. Wouldn't he spend more time on the bands that were paying for it, milk their funds and pay less attention to this?"
The cruelty that fell from her lips surprised him, her sudden misinterpretation of Ian's character making him see red. "What the fuck, Julia?" he said angrily. "Ian's a great guy. You know him! He isn't some corporate bastard that wants to hang Matthew out to dry. And if you remember correctly, Matthew is a talented bloke! He has a lot of creativity that's worth sifting through and exploring. Who the fuck are you right now?"
"Who am I?" she said quickly, snapping her head in his direction. Her green eyes looked like angry, dark swirls one would find in a swamp. It was a shade he had never seen before, causing him to step back a few feet. "I am your fiancee, god-dammit. So you should probably start treating me like it. I'm happy for Matthew, really, I am. Because you know what? I know him. I know that he is too good natured to ask you to be with him every fucking day of the week. He's too good of a person, and he's a big boy. He doesn't need you to hold his hand through this. So I know you're going there on your own free will. So tell me, hmm? Why are you trying to run from me?"
The words stung him like icicles against his skin, everything she spoke true and rational. Nothing he could say could refute her words, no excuses, no answers. Instead, he merely opened and closed his mouth repeatedly until he said the only thing that could come to mind.
"I'm sorry, baby."
She turned from him, facing back at her computer as she began to type. The conversation was closed, ended promptly by her distinct inability to accept his apology. She had heard it several times before, he knew, and there was nothing else he could do to make the words less sour.
He left her on the couch, turning away, much as Matthew had, without a second glance. His fingers deftly undid the rest of the buttons of his shirt as he walked, tugging it off his shoulders as he toed his dress shoes off at the same time. Tension in his neck rippled, and he bent his head from side to side as his hands undid the fly of his trousers.
Everything around him was crumbling. His relationship with Julia was pulled like a fraying rope hanging on it's last threads. He needed to tell her, needed to deliver the final blow. There was no way he could escape it. He was standing on the edge of a deadly precipice, tethered tightly to something that was weighing him down, pulling him over the edge. The only hope for survival was to cut the strands adn walk away.
Fully naked and entering his bathroom, he turned the shower nozzle onto hot and let the steam fill the room before he stepped inside. Surrounding him in its tender warmth, the steam and water seemed to lick his concerns away, leaving only a brightly coloured vision of Matthew in their wet wake. Julia evaporated from his mind completely, the water soaking up her abrasive honestly and leaving him with a flesh memory of Matthew's hips against him.
Lathering the soap in his hands, he let his body rest against the wall as he ran his hands up and down his chest, remembering only how Matthew had wickedly used his Spanish to twits Dominic's misgivings about his relationship with his fiancee. He should have known, all those days ago, that admitting his inability to refuse the brunet was easily giving the man in question the upper hand. He knew that Matthew would exploit it, and he would use it at random, leaving Dominic with no time to prepare. The stunt he had pulled in the bathroom was only the beginning, and Dominic knew he would swiftly be reduced to a helpless bundle of nerves if he allowed him to continue.
Frustration ran amuck in his veins, coming to pool heartily in his groin, forcing his cock to harden at the memory of Matthew's whispers. Automatically his soap slicked hand wrapped around his cock, remembering with guilt the way Julia had sucked him eagerly and how he had so vividly pictured her to be the man that teased him so well.
Guilt and pleasure fought heroically against one another until pleasure won out, and the sensation of Matthew's fingers on his neck traveled through his synapses down to his cock. His hand morphed, becoming Matthew's strong fist that pumped him so thoroughly, so smoothly. Matthew's mouth was suddenly back in his neck, the full bottom lip dragging itself along his pulse as his blood ran down and away, turning the strained member in his hand a stunning shade of purple.
For a moment, he tried to reverse the affect, to picture Julia in place of Matthew, but his efforts were futile. Pleasure, given and taken, was a thing in which choice ruled the game. Julia provided pleasure, yes, but the pleasure itself exponentially increased in level when it was delivered from Matthew's hands, mouth, legs, and hips, by comparison. He was helpless to deny that his body had chosen Matthew long before his heart had, and only now was his mind catching up the game.
His hips began to buck wildly, his finger nails dragging along the places he knew were the most sensitive along the underside of his cock. His fist tightened and sped up the pace, his head coming to bow lightly from the strain. Forcing his eyes shut, the image of Matthew became startlingly vivid, as though a perfect memory that had just been waiting for the right time to display itself behind his eyes. Desire possessed his body, his heart aching at the fact that he could not reach his arms out to grab hold of the brunet as he neared his climax. He wanted to cling to him hold him,and shiver beneath him until the world faded into the soothing black of sleep. Pressed against his body, Dominic was sure nothing would harm him. At the thought of lying with Matthew in his bed, strangled cries of pleasure and regret burst forth form his mouth, until his lips began to eagerly form words.
There was only one word on his lips as he came, hot and hard over his hand and the shower wall. The name he had tried so hard to suppress the week before was ecstatically released as a cry, the blonde biting his lip with a smile as soon as it was said. Matthew.
Coming down from his orgasm, Dominic watched with half lidded eyes as his thick come mixed languidly with the water. It struggled as it swirled down the drain, much the way his relationship with Julia had disappeared before his very eyes.
-------
Translation:
"I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to hear that."
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Date: 2011-01-24 07:44 am (UTC)Your wish has been granted bb! Thank you for reading and commenting :D :D