Oh wow this chapter… this update made SO happy!!!!
It is always such a pleasure to read something written by you, especially if is this story and I know I’m repeating myself and I said this a lot in my comments but is true, every chapter of this story is a treat.
This chapter was fantastic, I enjoyed it so much!!!!! Every word was kind of addictive (I don’t if that makes any sense) by the end of the last paragraph I was dying to read more!!! The description of Matt’s falsetto was …OMG … just… I can’t even find words to tell you how much I loved it, it was brilliant!!! I melted while I was reading it.
“Slowly he brought his eyes to the window, only to find Matthew staring hard into his face. The blue paralyzed him, turning him to stone as Medusa herself would. He could not move, he could not think. He could only feel.”
Oh my Darwin, these words…. Hun you’re a genius and this line is perfection.
And the bathroom scene, you had me on the edge of my chair while I was reading it; I loved how you combined the angst with the sexual tension and Dom’s internal battle; it was perfect!! And Matt flirting and speaking Spanish… that image will stay with me for a LONG time (I Just loved how he teased Dom)
The other bathroom scene (or shower scene) was also perfect!! It was really HOT and intense at the same time; Dom’s thoughts were so profound. I really loved the way you mixed a steaming hot image with those deep reflections and thoughts . I think that what I love the most about this part was this: "He was helpless to deny that his body had chosen Matthew long before his heart had, and only now was his mind catching up the game."
What a beautiful way to say that every cell of Dom’s body belongs to Matthew.
Now, about your notes… I really have to ask just two lines made you proud? Really??? Dear the entire chapter was glorious, you should be PROUD about every line because they were all beautiful!!!! You´re truly amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I’m curious about what line you’re referring to, so please tell me ;)
Thank you so much for another wonderful chapter!!!! you put a big smile on my face every time you update.
*Hugs*
Oh before I forget, in the Spanish line you should change the “a” from “contentA” for an “o” “contentO” because in Spanish adjectives (most of the times) have a version for females and one for males and you used the one for females. And you also should change the last “que” for “eso” or “esto” because “que” is not use in this case. Is not a big deal I just thought I should tell you. I don’t want you to think that I’m correcting you or something, because for me your writing is perfect!!! That is just a suggestion :) I just wanted to help (sorry if it bothers you)
Ok that’s it ;) thank you again for this lovely chapter love xx
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sforzinda
no subject
Date: 2011-01-22 04:10 am (UTC)It is always such a pleasure to read something written by you, especially if is this story and I know I’m repeating myself and I said this a lot in my comments but is true, every chapter of this story is a treat.
This chapter was fantastic, I enjoyed it so much!!!!! Every word was kind of addictive (I don’t if that makes any sense) by the end of the last paragraph I was dying to read more!!!
The description of Matt’s falsetto was …OMG … just… I can’t even find words to tell you how much I loved it, it was brilliant!!! I melted while I was reading it.
“Slowly he brought his eyes to the window, only to find Matthew staring hard into his face. The blue paralyzed him, turning him to stone as Medusa herself would. He could not move, he could not think. He could only feel.”
Oh my Darwin, these words…. Hun you’re a genius and this line is perfection.
And the bathroom scene, you had me on the edge of my chair while I was reading it; I loved how you combined the angst with the sexual tension and Dom’s internal battle; it was perfect!! And Matt flirting and speaking Spanish… that image will stay with me for a LONG time (I Just loved how he teased Dom)
The other bathroom scene (or shower scene) was also perfect!! It was really HOT and intense at the same time; Dom’s thoughts were so profound. I really loved the way you mixed a steaming hot image with those deep reflections and thoughts . I think that what I love the most about this part was this:
"He was helpless to deny that his body had chosen Matthew long before his heart had, and only now was his mind catching up the game."
What a beautiful way to say that every cell of Dom’s body belongs to Matthew.
Now, about your notes… I really have to ask just two lines made you proud? Really??? Dear the entire chapter was glorious, you should be PROUD about every line because they were all beautiful!!!! You´re truly amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I’m curious about what line you’re referring to, so please tell me ;)
Thank you so much for another wonderful chapter!!!! you put a big smile on my face every time you update.
*Hugs*
Oh before I forget, in the Spanish line you should change the “a” from “contentA” for an “o” “contentO” because in Spanish adjectives (most of the times) have a version for females and one for males and you used the one for females. And you also should change the last “que” for “eso” or “esto” because “que” is not use in this case. Is not a big deal I just thought I should tell you. I don’t want you to think that I’m correcting you or something, because for me your writing is perfect!!! That is just a suggestion :) I just wanted to help (sorry if it bothers you)
Ok that’s it ;) thank you again for this lovely chapter love
xx