Okay, okay, gotta back up and give coherent feedback. *checks self before she wrecks self*
The imagery -- OH GOD. I can't pick them all out, but damn, they are delicious. My favorites:
Heat seemed to slither over his body, snake like tongues gently kissing the hairs on his skin to raise them along his arms.
He felt him sniff, taking in the exact aroma of his skin, taking it deep, taking it hard, as though to cycle it through his system so it could linger on his tongue without even opening his mouth.
Not only do you use all the best words when you do stuff like this, but the way you phrase it makes SO much sense. Nothing misplaced or too wordy, always just enough. Some writers' descriptions, I really have to work to be able to see in my Mind's Eye. With yours, I see it as I'm reading it. It's already there; my brain does no work.
"I love knowing I have this control over you," Matthew giggled softly. "And I haven't even exploited it the way I should. But I'm patient. Have fun Dominic."
I LOL-ed. God, I love your Matthew turned minxy. You should send him to me. XD
"Because you know what? I know him. I know that he is too good natured to ask you to be with him every fucking day of the week. He's too good of a person, and he's a big boy. He doesn't need you to hold his hand through this. So I know you're going there on your own free will."
When I read this, I literally made a, "D'OH!" noise at Julia's intuition. Oh my Jeebus, Dom, you're SO fucking busted already... It might be best to just Band-Aid this situation, bb. You're making us all quite nervous... except for Matthew. He seems to be rather enjoying it. *snort*
For a moment, he tried to reverse the affect, to picture Julia in place of Matthew, but his efforts were futile. Pleasure, given and taken, was a thing in which choice ruled the game. Julia provided pleasure, yes, but the pleasure itself exponentially increased in level when it was delivered from Matthew's hands, mouth, legs, and hips, by comparison. He was helpless to deny that his body had chosen Matthew long before his heart had, and only now was his mind catching up the game.
EXCELLENT PARAGRAPH DESERVES A COOKIE. And now, Dom, maybe your mouth will catch up as well. :-/
I hope Julia didn't hear Dom's little pleasure-fest. I kept nearing the end and muttering, "Don't scream, don't moan, don't say anything -- OH, FUDGE-NUTS."
Also: Coming down from his orgasm, Dominic watched with half lidded eyes as his thick come mixed languidly with the water. It struggled as it swirled down the drain, much the way his relationship with Julia had disappeared before his very eyes.
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sforzinda
no subject
Date: 2011-01-21 07:01 pm (UTC)Okay, okay, gotta back up and give coherent feedback. *checks self before she wrecks self*
The imagery -- OH GOD. I can't pick them all out, but damn, they are delicious. My favorites:
Heat seemed to slither over his body, snake like tongues gently kissing the hairs on his skin to raise them along his arms.
He felt him sniff, taking in the exact aroma of his skin, taking it deep, taking it hard, as though to cycle it through his system so it could linger on his tongue without even opening his mouth.
Not only do you use all the best words when you do stuff like this, but the way you phrase it makes SO much sense. Nothing misplaced or too wordy, always just enough. Some writers' descriptions, I really have to work to be able to see in my Mind's Eye. With yours, I see it as I'm reading it. It's already there; my brain does no work.
"I love knowing I have this control over you," Matthew giggled softly. "And I haven't even exploited it the way I should. But I'm patient. Have fun Dominic."
I LOL-ed. God, I love your Matthew turned minxy. You should send him to me. XD
"Because you know what? I know him. I know that he is too good natured to ask you to be with him every fucking day of the week. He's too good of a person, and he's a big boy. He doesn't need you to hold his hand through this. So I know you're going there on your own free will."
When I read this, I literally made a, "D'OH!" noise at Julia's intuition. Oh my Jeebus, Dom, you're SO fucking busted already... It might be best to just Band-Aid this situation, bb. You're making us all quite nervous... except for Matthew. He seems to be rather enjoying it. *snort*
For a moment, he tried to reverse the affect, to picture Julia in place of Matthew, but his efforts were futile. Pleasure, given and taken, was a thing in which choice ruled the game. Julia provided pleasure, yes, but the pleasure itself exponentially increased in level when it was delivered from Matthew's hands, mouth, legs, and hips, by comparison. He was helpless to deny that his body had chosen Matthew long before his heart had, and only now was his mind catching up the game.
EXCELLENT PARAGRAPH DESERVES A COOKIE. And now, Dom, maybe your mouth will catch up as well. :-/
I hope Julia didn't hear Dom's little pleasure-fest. I kept nearing the end and muttering, "Don't scream, don't moan, don't say anything -- OH, FUDGE-NUTS."
Also: Coming down from his orgasm, Dominic watched with half lidded eyes as his thick come mixed languidly with the water. It struggled as it swirled down the drain, much the way his relationship with Julia had disappeared before his very eyes.
Most bizarrely appropriate metaphor ever. XD
*POUNCE-HUGS* YOU.