The Long Surrender: 18/??

[lalalive23]

Title: The Long Surrender
Author: lalalive23 
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: R
Warning: Swearing
Summary: AU. Matt moved to Spain immediately after his lover left him to continue his work on the Spanish guitar. When Dom takes a holiday with his new fiancee, his world gets turned upside down and nothing is ever the same again.
Feedback: Not gonna lie, I'm a feedback whore. I get the shakes without it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse. If I did, they sure as hell would not be let out of the naughty closet. I don't make money off this. If I did, I would be a rich lady and not distracting myself from writing an undergrad thesis that is somehow much bigger than I.
Note: Well. I lied. Here is the next chapter. My mother informed me that we would be leaving at 5.30 in the morning to drive me back to school so I figured WHY NOT PULL AN ALL NIGHTER? My sleep pattern is fucked as it is. So...voila! The fruits of my all night activities. I do hope you enjoy this. It's very hard keeping speeches realistic lol. <3

Thanks to sunshine_173  for bit reading and telling me this didn't suck. And I give an award to sheerpoetry  for putting up with my teasing treats :D

Prologue  Chapter 1 Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13 Chapter 14A Chapter 14B Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17

He had barely registered the words before Dominic was in his arms, face cupped between clammy palms as Dominic's lips pressed roughly to his own. Against his will, he trembled into the touch, the scent of the warm summer air laced into Dominic's skin. But he denied his arms the gift of wrapping around the blonde and holding him against his heated flesh. The words were exactly what he had been waiting to hear, and he wanted Dominic to explain the details of his confession.

With extraordinary hesitation, he braced the shoulders of the man so passionately lapping at his lips for entrance and pushed him away, his heart breaking at the sound of Dominic's confused whine.

"What happened?" he asked, moving to let Dom completely into the house while he shut the door. "Tell me!"

Pressing his back against the door, he smiled brightly, watching as Dominic shrugged out of his jacket. He looked ecstatic and joyful, his gray eyes glimmering as though sun were breaking out behind dark clouds. Matthew wanted to laugh, laugh for no reason at all. Just because he was happy.

"Julia found out! She knew everything and she left." Dominic spoke the words with such joy, and yet, Matthew found his smile falling.

In a moment, all the joy he had been feeling was sucked out of him. The only thing he wanted to do then was reprimand Dominic for being so joyful.

"Wait, she found out?" He needed Dominic to clarify.

When he had told Dominic those weeks ago to make the choice between himself and Julia, he had meant for Dominic to come to the decision on his own, based entirely on what his heart told him. For Julia to have left him, she had made the choice for both of them. It felt to him as though everything about their relationship had been entirely in Julia's hands, and ruled by how Dominic felt about her. Never once did Matthew feel as though Dominic made the choices on his own, and an ache had started to form in his gut at the knowledge.

"Yeah, well, last week after you cornered me in the bathroom I went home...and...well...I had a wank. And I said your name. Loudly" He blushed at the words, the colour on his cheeks making him look impossibly perfect.

A sense of pride formed in Matthew's stomach to know that Dominic had called his name in private, had thought of him while he touched himself. Momentarily, he wondered if Dominic imagined that it was his hand tracing the contours of his cock as he drove himself to completion. Never would he tell Dominic that, in the throws of his own orgasm, he would call Dominic's name and speak to his hand as though it were not his. As he came, his body was always drunk with the blonde's presence.

"She heard me," Dominic continued, "and she was confused and confronted me. She left me, Matt. She left." Matthew found himself nearly blind from the smile he was given. He wanted to feel as though his soul were warmed by the action, but all he could be aware of was the sinking of his heart.

Pushing away from the door, he rubbed a hand over his face as he moved to sit in a char at the kitchen table. He did not remove his hand as he passed the blonde, fearing that he would forget everything he wanted, needed, to say.

"Dom," he said gruffly. "That isn't....so basically you're telling me you didn't decide this yourself." It wasn't a question, it was a statement of fact.

He pulled his hand away from his face, resting it on the cool table. Dominic stood before him, hands on hips, blush still in place as it spread to his neck. Matthew wished he was not so affected by the sight, imagining Dominic writhing beneath him wearing the same shade.

"Well, no, but what does it matter?" he asked.

Matthew chuckled softly. "Dom, it matters a lot. You didn't choose this for yourself. Your girlfriend left you so now it's just me. How do I know you truly want this?"

Dominic took a step back from him, bumping into the counter behind him. "Matthew, you know I want this."

A small pain formed in Matthew's chest as he prepared himself for what he was about to say. "You say you do, but how can I believe you if you can't even say it to Julia? When will you be able to admit it completely?" He felt himself frown and watched as Dominic's eyes widened, lips parting as he took in a sharp breath. "If she hadn't left you, would you be here? How long would I have been waiting for you? How long will I be waiting....for you to accept this as something you want?"

The words hung in the air, heavy with their meaning. He was breathless as he spoke them, wishing only that he could trust Dominic when he said that Matthew was what he wanted. If felt gravely like he was doomed to be in a one sided love for longer than he could bear, watching only as Dominic struggled to return the feeling. The depths of his yearning nearly consumed him on a daily basis, his heart aching to make the blonde its own. For Dominic, he could wait, he would drain his veins and blood of every ounce of patience within his body, but he was only human, only able to love for so long without given signs of reciprocation.

Dominic cut through the thickness of the atmosphere, turning quickly to slap his hand on the counter in frustration. Through his thin undershirt, the muscles of his back rippled in tension as he gripped the granite before him, and Matthew was helpless to prevent himself from imagine them doing the same during sex.

"Why," he heard Dominic mutter, "is everyone treating me like this isn't what I want?"

Matthew softened, feeling as though he should explain himself better. "Dom -" he was cut off by Dominic's fierce face turning to look at him once more.

"I was afraid. I admit it, ok? I was scared. But never was I afraid of this...of us. Just because I was afraid of hurting Julia doesn't mean that I didn't, that I don't, want you." He pushed himself away from the counter to walked to Matthew. Taking a chair from the table, he pulled it to place it directly in front of Matthew. The new angle allowed him to see the depths of Dominic's sincerity, every nerve on his face twitching with meaning. "I didn't sit at home tonight after she left. I didn't stay there and wallow in misery, in her memory, ok? I am here because this is something exciting to me."

Through the soft flannel of Matthew's bottoms, he felt Dominic's hand come to rest on his knee and give a squeeze. The simple sensation thrilled him.

"I came here because I want you, and I want this." The hand on Matthew's knee tightened, and Dominic released a laugh. "The mere thought of starting this is what brought me here. Because this, you, are too perfect for me to sit at home and miss out on. I want to start this now."

When Matthew was 24, Evan had come home one evening with a new vinyl record player, announcing that the music that Matthew loved so dearly would sound the best when listened to on 7 and 12." That evening they had listened to Andres Segovia until dawn, wrapped in each other's arms on the couch as life happened around them. Peace and contentedness had filled their lives, neither feeling the urge to leave the rapture given by the other's embrace. But the feeling for Matthew had only been doubled the moment Evan had licked the shell of his ear to whisper that he was his soulmate.

Simple words, they were, bearing so much joy when laced with so much passion and honesty. Dominic had spoke his words with the same power and the same force, dictating each syllable with confident certainty. In the wake of the words, he had been left breathless.

It was then that he lifted his hand to rest atop Dominic's on his leg. "That," he sighed, "means more to me than you could possibly imagine. But..."

Blonde hairs swayed listlessly around Dominic's head as he shook it. "Why does there have to be a 'but,' Matt? Why isn't the fact that I want this enough?" The pain and lust in his words made Matthew's throat constrict.

He shut his eyes slowly as he spoke, his grip on Dominic's hand tightening. The skin was too soft to be human. "Because the fact remains that you didn't choose this. Tomorrow you could wake up and not want this at all. You could wake up and regret this, and...if we start this tonight..I'm not strong enough to let you go tomorrow."

"So don't!" Dominic explained, forcing Matthew to open his eyes. "I'm here and I want you. How many times do I have to say it?"

It was Matthew's turn to shake his head, messy dark locks falling around his eyes. "It has nothing to do with you saying it over and over. It's just..I don't want to rush into this and then have you realize that this isn't for you. It's not like you can fall into the arms of homosexuality and accept it. It's hard, Dom. This is going to be hard for you and I want you to be sure that you're ready."

Dominic absorbed the words before him as Matthew's heart beat rapidly in his chest. It was taking all of his self control not to reach forward up to Dominic's thigh, or move the hand on his leg to his groin.

"I feel like I've been ready from the second I saw you," Dominic said softly.

Emotion ripped from Matthew's chest, propelling him from his seat into Matthew's arms. He held the blonde tightly, as though wishing their flesh could use the heat of their desire to weld together. Fists clutching tightly to Dominic's shirt, he pressed his face into Dominic's neck and breathed. In the juncture of his shoulder and neck, Dominic's natural scent was positively overwhelming, a drug that forced his body into serious addiction.

"Can I stay here tonight? With you?" he heard Dominic whisper. The light touches of the blonde's hands down his spine were causing him to shake, soft finger tips making barely there shapes on his back.

"We can't..." Matthew drifted, the words becoming muffled in Dominic's skin. He felt the blonde shiver and smiled wickedly. He brought the tip of his tongue to tease the heated skin, mimicking the same lightness of Dom's fingers.

Dominic tightened his grip on Matthew as he left out a weak breath.

"No podemos hacer nada esta noche," Matthew whispered with a laugh, tongue punctuating each word with a short lick.

"Don't fucking tease me if you don't want me to make you mine tonight," Dominic whispered darkly into Matt's ear, blowing hot air around the shell as he spoke.

"Who said," Matthew whispered before licking a light strip up to Dominic's ear, "you would be the one doing the taking?" He finished his question by nibbling gently on the lobe, loving the sharp cry Dominic gave from the simple action.

He felt himself get pushed away, Dominic's arms holding him at arm's length. Gray eyes black, the same as they had been in the bathroom, stared gravely into his face. Breaths coming in uneven patterns, Matthew realized that his self control was slipping with each passing second.

"You are coming dangerously close to my limits, Matthew," Dominic said sternly.

Matthew nodded in kind, smiling at their brief flirtation. The hopeful, innocent in him prayed that these flirtations would continue into their intimate future, but he prevented himself from looking beyond the next twelve hours. He would only allow himself to calm when the morning came and Dominic was still there.

"I want you to stay tonight, Dom. It's just...I don't trust myself with you...in my bed." He had to be honest. If the blonde were to enter his bed, an infinite world of pleasure was opened to him and he refused to risk Dominic's state of mind for his own selfishness.

"That's fine," Dominc nodded, coming to stand. Matthew moved with him, unwilling to let his hand go. "I can stay on the couch."

Matthew lead him through the archway into the living room, begrudgingly letting go of his hand to retrieve blankets from the small hallway closet.

"I haven't used these in ages," Matthew said mindlessly to Dominic as he walked back into the living room. He stopped in his tracks as he caught sight of Dominic, the blonde staring wide eyed at his surroundings. "What?" Matthew asked.

"You finished this...the room, I mean." Dominic walked close to a bookshelf holding all of Matthew's books and records, inspecting each title before gazing around at the new decoration.

Guitars in their stands lined the floors, Bianca standing proud in the center. Pictures of Spain, blown up and framed lined the walls, not a hint of anyone but Matthew apparent in the room. To be frank, the brunet was proud of his design, loving the way the room calmed him and made him feel as though he had truly come home.

"You didn't think I would wait for you, did you?" Matthew joked, tossing the blankets on his new leather couch.

Dominic shrugged as he walked over to run a hand over the arm of the furniture. "Well, no...but, I mean -"

Matthew cut him off with a high pitched laugh. "Oh my lord, you did!"

"No! But it would have been fun to finish this together," Dominic explained.

With a sigh, Matthew moved to unfold a blanket, shaking it open as he debated if he should tell Dominic about his conversation with Vida. "It was something I had to do on my own," he said slowly. "There was too much Evan, and then you and our fight got painted into the wall somehow. Not physically, obviously, but the negative energy remained. I just needed to start making this place mine before I invited others in." He paraphrased what Vida had told him, smiling as he wondered if she would be proud of him for saying the words so strongly.

"That makes sense," Dominic said softly. "Matt..." he drifted.

"What?" Matthew dropped the blanket as a bottom sheet on the cushions, staring at Dominic.

"You keep asking me if I'm ready...but...are you?" Soft eyes gazed at him questioningly, as if searching Matthew for something the blonde couldn't place. "It's like...you were all upset over Evan and then...now you want me. Aren't we kind of in the same place?"

And there it was. The question Matthew had been dreading because he did not want to explain the prolonged length of his desire, the the countless nights he had spent in Spain dreaming that Dominic was his. How could he put words to the impossible way Dominic had saved him from the darkness he had forced himself into? He had no choice but to be honest.

"Dom," he quietly said as he looked away, fiddling with the edge of the blanket between his fingers. "You - you saved me from myself. But it isn't like I'm fixated on you because you came along when I needed you most. It's like...ok. Evan was good for me, perfect, and exactly what I needed at that certain point in my life. When everything was good between us, he was perfect. But I was blind to his flaws. I never saw him as anything else than sublime. But you...you weren't perfect. You were engaged, so I started telling myself that I wanted you because you because you were my rebound. But then I couldn't stop. And everything about you was wrong and flawed."

Dominic snorted. "Gee, thanks."

Matthew shook his head furiously. "No, I'm not explaining it well. Nothing about my desire for you was perfect or rational. And nothing about us could have ever been perfect. And that's why I started thinking that this was something bigger than I was ready for. Because I couldn't control myself around you. And I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you. I don't know what it is, but somehow you're more important to me than Evan ever was. It's like you've forced me to grow into something better, and even though we aren't simple and perfect, that's what makes how I feel about you real. Because...how deeply I feel about you was never meant to be easy in the first place."

During his verbal overflow, Matthew had stopped picking the blanket and had forced himself to stare into Dominic's face. He read every expression like a page in his favourite book, devouring it and committing it to memory to unpack its layers at a later date. Dominic, it seemed, was stunned, rendered speechless at the mere implication of what Matthew had said. And so, in the silence of the living room, Matthew surrendered himself to waiting and watching.

After several moments of silence, Dominic had processed Matthew's speech and developed a small question of his own.

"And...how exactly...do you feel?" he asked.

With a deep breath, Matthew spoke. "You told me that you worship me. Well, if I'm the icon of the practice, you're the savior about which the dogma was written."

Neither could bring themselves to speak for the rest of the evening, both terrified of confessing another layer of their feelings that contradicted their wishes to wait. Instead they took to watching television in the darkness, waiting until their eyes grew tired from the strain. On opposite sides of the couch they sat, trust in their limbs own personal control far below confident.

When Matthew lifted himself to go to bed, he left the living room with a heavy heart. All of him felt linked to Dominic, wishing instead to curl up at his side and sleep chastely in his embrace. The strength of his wish forced his body into an unnatural state of weight, causing him to use much effort to even make it to the hallway.

It certainly did not help when, behind him, a soft voice floated to his ears that threatened to break down every last wall of restraint he had spent the past few hours building for himself.

"Goodnight, Bells."

Comments

[sheerpoetry.livejournal.com]

Teases! That's my strong, beautiful boys!!

I cannot POSSIBLY leave an appropriate comment from my phone, so this is a placeholder saying OMG I LOVE IT and I will be back tomorrow!

*squishes*
And thank you foe the teases and the shoutout and just being your awesome self! I hope you're able to get some rest before tue drive!! <3

[sheerpoetry.livejournal.com]

I said I'd be back, right?

Look, quotes:

He looked ecstatic and joyful, his gray eyes glimmering as though sun were breaking out behind dark clouds. Matthew wanted to laugh, laugh for no reason at all. Just because he was happy.
I really, really loved this detail of them being so happy, despite the fact that a large part of Dom's life just kind of came to a close, along with the severity of what they're getting into. I felt exactly this way--unjustifiably happy that they'd finally come together, no matter the circumstances, Julia or no Julia. Oh, and Dom's eyes. <3

As he came, his body was always drunk with the blonde's presence.
And not just then, I bet. It's rather cheeky they've got that in common, but neither really know it about the other.

The depths of his yearning nearly consumed him on a daily basis, his heart aching to make the blonde its own.
I don't think Matthew does anything half-way, which is why he's so questioning of Dom. But I love that he puts his whole heart in everything he does.

But never was I afraid of this...of us. Just because I was afraid of hurting Julia doesn't mean that I didn't, that I don't, want you.
This this this this. If there was one line from this chapter, it'd be this one. Dom's still kind of holding back the full story, but he probably knows it wouldn't do much good to brag about defending Matt.

...if we start this tonight..I'm not strong enough to let you go tomorrow.
Yes, I'd seen it, but I still wasn't entirely prepared for it in the text. *sigh*

"I feel like I've been ready from the second I saw you," Dominic said softly.
Orrr this line. I think I could live in that moment forever.

Fists clutching tightly to Dominic's shirt, he pressed his face into Dominic's neck and breathed. In the juncture of his shoulder and neck, Dominic's natural scent was positively overwhelming, a drug that forced his body into serious addiction.
*cough cough* This is such a cute image, but it's also really sexy, too. And yesss, even Dom's smell would be an addiction. :D

If the blonde were to enter his bed, an infinite world of pleasure was opened to him and he refused to risk Dominic's state of mind for his own selfishness.
Such a big boy! I think this is really a testament of how much he wants them.

It's like you've forced me to grow into something better, and even though we aren't simple and perfect, that's what makes how I feel about you real. Because...how deeply I feel about you was never meant to be easy in the first place.
Have I mentioned I'm so, SO proud of them? You say you were worried about the speeches, but I think they're wonderful. They're being open and honest and it's so good for them.

With a deep breath, Matthew spoke. "You told me that you worship me. Well, if I'm the icon of the practice, you're the savior about which the dogma was written."
This whole love is my religion thing may have been done before, but not like this. I just LOVE these lines!

I'm sooo glad you got the chance to update this! I hope the trip went well and GOOD LUCK with school!
(And, erm, pardon the typos. I was over-excited and on a touch screen.)

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

I love the idea that they think of each other when they orgasm. Because they both do it, it's almost like they've been having sex together for weeks, but purely on the plane of thought.

You are exactly right. Matty doesn't do anything halfway. He's an all or nothing kind of guy, and when he feels, he feels with his whole heart. Which is exactly why he is so weary about jumping into this. Because he is certainly not strong enough to let Dom go so so soon after getting him.

I was always so unoriginal doing the religion metaphor but there is a reason that comes up in the next few chapters. I'm trying to keep it as uncliché as possible lol.

I LOVE YOU AND YOUR TYPOS. YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL AND AMAZING <3333

[easilyglorious.livejournal.com]

OH Jesus, what a rollercoaster! I have a feeling the next hours / days will be torture for both of them.

Again, I'm hoping for that happy ending for them. I mean, after all the heartache and Dom's break up, they deserve that, right? Please??

Such a beautiful chapter, I feel quite grateful when you update, especially so quickly. It's a brilliant treat every time.

*Hugs*

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

Yeah.. the following days will be tough for the boys. But they can push through.

Happy endings take work...they will work for it...but....we'll have to wait and see.

Thank you so much bb!!!! *hugs tight*

[end1essly.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :3

This was absolutely gorgeous. I'm just overwhelmingly proud of them both for being so strong; both emotionally (Matthew realizing he's being reborn with Dom's help, Dom realizing that he's starting a life vastly different from the one he had before) and physically (because goodness gracious is the sex going to be scorching when they get down to business. CALIENTE! XD)

I especially liked your addition about Matthew's finished living room wall- it gave me such a sense of peace ♥

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

LOL Everyone is so excited about the sex. I am too. God I just wanna get there. But - it will take time to get them there with confidence. Anyway. Thank you so so so much for your lovely comment <333 *hugs*

[licklepickle.livejournal.com]

*sniffles* OMG that was so beautiful.
You don't have to go back to college..just come live in my cupboard under the stairs and write for me 247!!

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

I WOULD LOVE TO DO THIS. CAN I? IT MEANS I GET TO LIVE IN ENGLAND....WITH YOU!!

[l-starlight-13.livejournal.com]

Ooooh yay!!! Updated so soon :D
I really hope this works out for them, that they both mean it.. (they seem to at least!) :)
Anyway thanks heaps.... Can't wait until the next one....!!

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

^_^ Thank you so much bb <3333 *hugs*

[ashamedbliss.livejournal.com]

*flails happily*

OMG NO SRSLY, the speeches were fucking marvellous and the overwhelming passssssssssion omg it's even making me dizzy :P

yay yay yay! *grins like a fool*

*hugs* ♥

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

Awww lmfao you are so cute *hugs tight* I'm glad you liked the speeches. It was hard keeping them real when we all know what I really want them to do lol

[mirrormonster8.livejournal.com]

Matthew chuckled softly. "Dom, it matters a lot. You didn't choose this for yourself. Your girlfriend left you so now it's just me. How do I know you truly want this?"

Point. Dom, ILU, bb, but you just aren't doing very well with manning up to the tasks you should be doing. Matthew requires assertion.

"I didn't sit at home tonight after she left. I didn't stay there and wallow in misery, in her memory, ok? I am here because this is something exciting to me."

Counterpoint. He may not have acted in the way he should have, but at least he acted. To say that action is meaningless just won't fly.

I really empathize with what Matt's worrying about here. I know a lot of people see fit to just get on the other side of a problem, pick things up there, and start moving forward again. It's easier, it's less stress. But I'm with Matt -- there are a multitude of truths hidden in the way we do or do not handle our obstacles, and they matter. And clearly, that goes both ways here:

"You keep asking me if I'm ready...but...are you?" Soft eyes gazed at him questioningly, as if searching Matthew for something the blonde couldn't place. "It's like...you were all upset over Evan and then...now you want me. Aren't we kind of in the same place?"

POINT. Good on ya, Dommeh.

"Don't fucking tease me if you don't want me to make you mine tonight," Dominic whispered darkly into Matt's ear, blowing hot air around the shell as he spoke.

"Who said," Matthew whispered before licking a light strip up to Dominic's ear, "you would be the one doing the taking?" He finished his question by nibbling gently on the lobe, loving the sharp cry Dominic gave from the simple action.

YOU OWE ME A NEW BRAIN. MINE IS BROKEN. And they haven't even had a properly official make-out session yet. *headdesk*

"... I don't know what it is, but somehow you're more important to me than Evan ever was. It's like you've forced me to grow into something better, and even though we aren't simple and perfect, that's what makes how I feel about you real. Because...how deeply I feel about you was never meant to be easy in the first place.

This makes SO MUCH SENSE. Having happy, perfect, beautiful things is easy, and it's a very nice, proud feeling. But the imperfect ones -- people, events, things, feelings -- the ones that have left scars, given you a hard-ass time, challenged you, and made things different... Those weigh more. And they make you feel more. People just won't acknowledge that because they're always taught to be petrified of flaws, fears, and irregularities. But that shit MEANS something.

With a deep breath, Matthew spoke. "You told me that you worship me. Well, if I'm the icon of the practice, you're the savior about which the dogma was written."

PERFECT LINE IS PERFECT AND ADEQUATELY DRAMATIC ENOUGH TO SHUT THEM BOTH UP FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.

*sigh* All I have to say is that I might be dead after these two finally start making things happen. I'm gonna keel over in my chair, and you're gonna be like, "WTF, where's Nikki?! She's missing out on the best part!" XD

LOVE.

[sheerpoetry.livejournal.com]

YOU OWE ME A NEW BRAIN. MINE IS BROKEN. And they haven't even had a properly official make-out session yet.
Giiirl. Your brain must be stronger than mine! That first kiss, ohmygod.

But yeah, agreed. Powerful stuff!

[mirrormonster8.livejournal.com]

Giiirl. Your brain must be stronger than mine! That first kiss, ohmygod.

Ohmygod is right -- true, lol. I think this in particular broke my brain, though, because I find Commanding!Dom to be just... ASJDALKJSDLKFLKASDA. It works for me. XD

[sheerpoetry.livejournal.com]

*gasp*
You're a dom!Dom girl, too? That other line was EXCELLENT for that...mmm.

[myz-bee.livejournal.com]

an especially lovely chapter. the interplay between them is beautiful. well done! <333

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

Thank you my love <3 I adore you <3

[ilerre.livejournal.com]

Is Evan going to make an appearance?

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

No, he is gone forever. He wants nothing to do with Matty and there's enough drama planned for this story LOL Evan would tear everyone apart.

[bloodsport7.livejournal.com]

"You told me that you worship me. Well, if I'm the icon of the practice, you're the savior about which the dogma was written."

OH. MY. GOD. That's one of the best lines i've ever read in my entire life.
Amazing, so amazing, dear wife!
I love youuuuuu <3

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Thank you wifey <33333 I adore you! It makes me so happy to know you like this story.

[muse-manticore.livejournal.com]

Aww, so sweet and so tense but they're doing the right thing to wait.

<3

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

^_^ Thank you so much bb! I think they're being very good about the whole thing even though they're antsy.

[xavje.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!! I was just talking to a friend about the last chapter over twitter yesterday, saying how much of a coward I thought Dom was for not breaking it off himself, but waiting for Julia to take that step. It could've been even more cowardish if he had actually dropped hints, so I guess that's a small console but I share Matt's worry.

I'm glad Matt is not giving in that soon, yet it doesn't really feel like he will be able to control himself any longer. If I was matt I would feel like a second choice, still. Even if Dom didn't want to hurt Julia, it means that he still held her in a higher regard than the possible relationship he could have began with Matt.

How long was it going to take before Dom would make a decission, if at all? This leaves me feeling a bit bitter, but I think it's great they're at least talking and waiting. I wonder how the next day is going to be... Have fun, wherever you're going! :D

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

I think Matt raises a good question about asking Dom how long he would have been waiting. It's something that's so important. But Matt is patient and willing to help him grow into this.

Thank you so much for putting thought and feeling into this <3 I love you!

[lov3s.livejournal.com]

I LOVE YOU FOR UPDATING THIS SO QUICKLY! THANK YOU FOR PULLING AN ALL NIGHTER. YOUR EFFORTS DIDN'T GO TO WASTE! :D

Now, I love this update. They're finally making some progress although I want to kick sensible!Matthew in the knob sometimes. Just fuck the wall-metaphor and get to snogging! I'm just kidding. Anyway, this chapter has been absolutely wonderful to read. It's just so full and packed with emotions. Emotions that weren't said outright but understood by the both of them anyway.

With a deep breath, Matthew spoke. "You told me that you worship me. Well, if I'm the icon of the practice, you're the savior about which the dogma was written." If anyone ever said this to me... Sigh... A girl can dream, right? :D

I send love and some arse your way:
(http://s243.photobucket.com/albums/ff31/letletme/Muse/?action=view&current=Buttshot.gif)

:D

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

LOL Well...I admit I want them to get to snogging too but...you know...they don't wanna rush. EVEN THOUGH I'D REALLY LIKE THEM TO GET IT ON.

LOL. If someone ever said half the things they say to each other I'd be like WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES? I KNOW I WAS DRESSED A SECOND AGO.

LOL YAY GIF <333

[pat401.livejournal.com]

Beautiful chapter! :)

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!

[eliimo.livejournal.com]

I want these two to be happy together so much it hurts. So glad they will finally be able to be with each other, but Matt's hesitation and fright of being left again makes me so worried of something unpredictable happening :( At least they both are honest now and admitting how much they mean to each other. Matt telling Dom that he saved Matt from himself was so touching!

Sorry to make this comment so short, but I'm absolutely exhausted right now (and this story pulling at my heartstrings doesn't help lol!) But I loved this. There is no way I couldn't. I can't tell you how much I look forward to see where they go from this :D *squeezes*

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

Oh T <3 I love you. Any length of a comment is perfect <3

I want them to be happy too, but it's gonna take some work to get there. Sigh. I have so much about it I want to talk to you about. T__T

I love you!!

[eliimo.livejournal.com]

I have so much about it I want to talk to you about. T__T

I'm always here if there's something you want to talk about, yeah? TLS or otherwise *squeezes, loves*

[head-o-rainbows.livejournal.com]

wow. what a fantastic chapter. insightful and... wow. just amazing

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

Oh honey. Thank you so much. Really, it means the world <3

[chibichi15.livejournal.com]

omg what an amazing chapter! They both want it so much...but are they ready to jump in?

Thanks so much! love reading this :)

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

We shall see! :D :D

Thank you so much bb! I am so glad you like it!

[gemma-muse.livejournal.com]

Weeeeeeee!

I already told you on twitter you made my day by updating this quickly. Spend the day rushing through all my chores just so I could read it asap.

This was fabulous. I was a little afraid they'd jump head first into something physical, but trust Matt to make Dom see he didn't actually decide on anything at all. And while his body might be sure about wanting Matt in every possible way he actually needs to slow down, think this through and make it a deliberate choice. Jules was right when she said he needs to 'love him and mean it'.

Lovely as always. <3

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

It blows my mind that you would do that for this story. I don't think I'll ever stop being shocked.

JULIA IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED TO BE. Oh god. I love her so much. And Matt is very level headed. Dom is too, he just needs to stop and really thing. REALLY think.

Love you!!

[herverylowness.livejournal.com]

A beautiful chapter and I have to agree with Matt on that.. Dom's joy about not having to confront Julia himself was not a good sign. He needs to man up!

[lalalive23.livejournal.com]

That's what he has Matt for ;)

[fenora.livejournal.com]

Awwww these boys =) I'm glad they're finally in this state... I understand Matt's doubts though but I also understand Dom's frustration... But they'll get there, eventually, I just know it =)

I feel so sorry for what Julia has to go through... But I'm really glad you didn't opt for the easy, bitchy girlfriend =) It's so much better like this! I hope we hear more from her...

More soon pwease!!

[ms-belle10.livejournal.com]

So, I'm having to leave a comment on the run here and without the use of appropriate GIFs but I wanted to let you know that I really loved this update. I felt every emotiion coursing through them, from Dom's buzzing excitement to Matt's fear and uncertainty. I am actually really glad they didn't sleep together, it's too soon for that, I think, but they both have a lot more self control than I think I would have in their situation--I genuinely think someone would be missing pants...probably all of us, not going to lie.

Great update! Sending proud and excited hugs your way for this fantastic chapter.

[altogingenting.livejournal.com]

I'm speechless!
My brain is totally gone...
(just in case you were wondering that is a very, very positive thing!)

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

I am late but I am here finally. <3

Matthew found himself nearly blind from the smile he was given. He wanted to feel as though his soul were warmed by the action, but all he could be aware of was the sinking of his heart.

I loved this line, so telling. <3 Feeling that sort of elation laced with sadness is very appropriate in this moment, so well expressed, I loved it. <3

Their conversation was refreshingly mature and thoughtfully written. Amazing!

"You told me that you worship me. Well, if I'm the icon of the practice, you're the savior about which the dogma was written."

I will say it again, I will never be able to write something this intelligently and gorgeously expressed. I just won't. This fic is a treasure and I can't wait to see what you have in store for our boys next.

<3

[ikran123.livejournal.com]

:-O I spend 2 weeks checking for updates anxiously on the search screen, waiting and waiting for another chapter to be posted. Then I remember that it might not have the right tags that my routine search covers, come on your profile and find 3 chapters up without my knowing so!

But obviously I was ecstatic when I found them =D

You wrote the break up so AMAZINGLY I want to hug you so much it was beautifully done =']
And this is heartwrenching! Poor Dom's desperate for things to work out =[ <3

But I can see things will hopefully get better from now on =]

Thank you! xxxxxxxxxx

[tigmouse.livejournal.com]

I love this story and your writing. Your ability to describe emotion leaves me literally breathless. I have never left comments before but after reading this I felt not to would be nothing less than stealing so I am coming out of the shadows to say 'Thank You'.